Okay. Listen. I don’t like doctors. My history with doctors
has been this: I go for a checkup and they find shit. Then I have a surgery to
remove shit. Then I find out, the shit was benign anyway.
And when something IS wrong with me, then they say it’s all
in my head or they can’t find a reason why shit is wrong!
In my 20’s a lump on my neck was discovered. “We need to
remove it!” Ok. Woke up feeling like shit after surgery, and then was told, “we
couldn’t remove the whole lump, because it was next to nerves and we didn’t
want to paralyze you but we’ll need to go back in.” They were able to remove
enough to rule out cancer, but then they wanted to go back in and test it for
more things. Um, and risk being paralyzed? Nope. I’ll take my chances. I like
my smile the way it is. If I’m meant to die, so be it. 6 months later, the lump
disappears.
Numerous times my regular pap smears come back irregular.
Biopsies (painful!) show all is well. I start to think this either just a way
to get money or the lab people are really really careless.
At a regular checkup, a lump is felt in my breast. I’m
having no issues. But MUST GET MAMMOGRAM. Then MUST TAKE IT OUT. Omg. This is
it! I have cancer! Nope, I don’t have cancer, I just have cystic breasts. Hey,
you know what, it might have been nice to have told me that BEFORE suggesting I
have surgery.
Between the faulty false paps and the faulty false breast
lump (and of course, the faulty lump in my neck) – I decided not to go the GYN
any longer. It seemed everytime I went for regular checkup, it turned into a
medical disaster.
All was well for awhile. Then in 2006 I had heart palpitations.
I was working 2 jobs, long shifts, my sleep was messed up. I was worried, but
knew as a medic it was probably nothing to really worry about as I didn’t have
any of the usual signs/symptoms. But one night palpations wouldn’t let up and I
started to have chest pain so off to Doylestown ER I went. My blood pressure
was low – I was throwing PVC’s and PAC’s left and right. They were able to
control them with Lopressor and sent me home. I had follow up tests and though
they said everything looked good (though I had a shit ton of PVC’s on my halter
montitor) – they tried to give me a script for Lopressor. I have low blood
pressure normally. I explained that it probably wasn’t wise for me to take it. “Don’t
worry, you’ll be fine!” Yeah right. I tried taking them at home only to discover
I would get super dizzy going from a sitting to standing position. Not something
I’d want to do while taking care of patients on the ambulance, so I threw them
in the garbage and eventually, when my shifts slowed down, so did the
palpations.
In 2007 I had breast enlargement surgery (which I regret!
They look fabulous but really, looking back, not something I needed to do.).
During pre-admissions I told them about my history of palpations but that the
doctors had cleared me, said I was fine. My ECG looked great and bloods looked
great. Then during surgery, I went into bigeminy and trigemny. The nurses said
the docs were NOT happy with me when I woke up. What the fuck? I was TOLD I was
fine and had an ECG that said I was fine presurgery, so it’s not like I didn’t
warn them.
So that, and some other minor incidents, are why I usually
would rather stay away from hospitals, doctors, and “physicals.” It seems when I
do have medical problems, they tell me I don’t. And when I don’t have medical
problems, they tell me I do. I believe there are great doctors out there (I have had a few!) and the trick is finding
them. If you have limited money or health insurance, this makes it extremely
difficult. Frankly, the whole system is a mess…sometimes I can’t blame the
doctors with the amount of regulations that make their job even more difficult.
Just remember. You are in charge of your own body. Just because someone is
wearing a white jacket doesn’t mean they know better than you. Educate
yourself. Get copies of your records. Get second opinions. Or third. And most
importantly, raise your voice – to family and friends. Sharing your stories is
what protects other people or just gives them something to consider or
reassurance. You can either be clued or screwed – happiness is not up to
others, it’s up to you. You’re welcome for that cheesy nugget of advice.
